paranoia in its full glory.

Finding out who you really are and what you really want to be, is harder than it seems.  My obsession of "not hurting or disappointing" people is out of control.  I am always paranoid when someone isn't acting quite themselves that day, that they are mad at me or unhappy with me.  Sounds a tad bit self centered doesn't it?  It doesn't mean to come off as self centered, but I am just worried that I didn't upset them. Wait, that is still self centered.  Can't escape that one now can I? A spade is a spade.  I fret and worry about it and get all paranoid and then I am a mess.  Stupid!!  Being worried about making other people happy or making sure that they aren't mad at me.....is really really really stressful and unnecessary.  I can't please everyone.  I can't make everyone happy.  The ones that matter the most are my family.  My husband, my children, and my parents are the most important people in my life.  I need to just stop freaking out and be me.  Which is going to be very hard.  Let's see if I can actually succeed at this.